I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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