If that was your dad, he is hot
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Do vagina's smell?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
