This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
