how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
