he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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