he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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