do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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