Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
That was before I lit my hair on fire
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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