if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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