i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
