i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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