Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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