last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
