apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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