you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
