so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
