I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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