White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
