): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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