I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
