So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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