Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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