im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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