I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
