This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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