exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
