I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
