Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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