Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
