whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
