A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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