You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
