I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
