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I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
