And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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