Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
