Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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