I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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