that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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