Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
