i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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