I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
