walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize