At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
