How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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