so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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