True but thats because hes a fetus.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
As shirtless as possible
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
