By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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