I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
