Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
