There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
