Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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