I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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