He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
