i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
