I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
