god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
