You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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