I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
