I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
