....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize