For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
