ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
