So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
